THREE GUYS AND… WWE
series created by Marvin Mercer and Nick Stephenson
“MONDAY NIGHT RAW 4/25/16”
written by Dominick Cappello
Shane McMahon… Shane-O-Mac… running Monday Night RAW for the fourth week in a row despite having lost to The Undertaker as WrestleMania. Whatever. Just roll with it. Stephanie McMahon made her return just in case you were missing her grating voice or the fact that she speaks in exposition. What’s that? You weren’t missing her? Yeah, me neither. This Sunday, at WWE Payback, Mr. McMahon will decide which of his children will continue to run RAW. Stephanie was escorting from the arena by security. Hmm… A segment ended without Stephanie having the upper hand? Well, that’s refreshing.
AJ Styles, the #1 contender for the WWE Championship, defeated Sheamus in the opening match. So, are we done with The League of Nations? I guess it doesn’t matter as they were a non factory in any relevant storyline. How about that sunset flip into a power-bomb by AJ? Nice… or should I say phenomenal. AJ is looking strong heading into WWE Payback. Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows were leading the cheering section.
The tag team division is heating up with The New Day, the reigning champions, Enzo & Big Cass, and The Vaudevillains. I think that The Vaudevillains will win the #1 contender’s match at WWE Payback. The WWE should save The New Day vs. Enzo & Big Cass for SummerSlam in Brooklyn. Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows defeated The Usos in their WWE in-ring debut. A post match beat down was broken up by Roman Reigns, the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, who’s still being jeered in almost every city the WWE travels to. At least he didn’t say that he was THE GUY this week. I’m already tired of that line. AJ Styles still claims to be innocent when it comes to the heelish actions of Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows.
An amazing promo package recapped the epic Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn feud, then Sami was in action against Rusev, who had Lana in his corner. Even with Lana back at ringside, the WWE Universe still chanted “We Want Lana!” Yep, there’s no such thing as too much Lana. You want Lana, I want Lana, we all want Lana. Sami won with a roll-up, then Lana threw her high heels at him. Who throws a shoe? Honestly? As Sami departed, he was jumped from behind by KO. I’m looking forward to their match as WWE Payback. Believe it or not, I’m rooting for a time limit draw, so that they could then have a 30 minute iron man match or something akin at WWE Extreme Rules, which is the next pay-per-view.
Apollo Crews defeated Stardust. Apollo Crews in undefeated thus far in WWE (not on NXT) televised matches. Dean Ambrose called out Chris Jericho. The Lunatic Fringe vs. The Best in the World (at what he does). After some verbal jousting and some brawling, Jericho locked Ambrose in The Walls of Jericho atop the announcer’s table. This was the third show in a row where Jericho had the upper hand, so I guess that means Ambrose will win at WWE Payback?
Natalya defeated Emma. Charlotte served as guest color commentator. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair didn’t contribute much to the proceedings. I’m of the opinion that Natalya will win the Women’s Championship at WWE Payback with her uncle Bret “The Hit Man” Hart in corner, but I don’t believe that it will be a lengthy title reign. Charlotte will likely be champion once again, heading into SummerSlam, to defend the title against Sasha Banks. Maybe Becky Lynch, but probably Sasha Banks. The WWE then ran a touching tribute video to the late Joanie “Chyna” Laurer. Rest in Peace.
Damien Sandow was back on RAW! Hallelujah! But, it looked like he was being fed to Baron Corbin. Shucks. Then, Baron was jumped by Dolph Ziggler, so that match never happened. Dolph Ziggler is being used as doormat for Baron Corbin because Dolph putting over Tyler Breeze at Survivor Series worked out so well for Tyler. I’m so sick of MizTV and I’ve wasted too much breath over the years on my disdain for The Miz. I’ve never seen any of his films, but I assume he’s just as mediocre at acting as he is at wrestling. He was interrupted by Cesaro, the WWE’s version of 007. Fingers crossed that Cesaro wins the Intercontinental Championship at WWE Payback.
Roman Reigns defeated Alberto Del Rio in the main event despite being distracted by Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows. AJ Styles attempted to break up the post match beat down and received a Superman punch for his troubles. Many are confident that Anderson & Gallows will turn on AJ and side with Roman, but there’s been way too much physicality between Roman and The Bullet Club members. What sense would it make for Roman to be revealed as the super secret leader of The Bullet Club after they’ve been beating the hell out of each other for weeks? If Anderson & Gallows turn on AJ, they shouldn’t unite with Roman. They’d need somebody else to be the allusive third man. Hmm… what’s Finn Balor up to this Sunday?
– Dr. Rochester