THREE GUYS AND… MOVIES
series created by Marvin Mercer and Nick Stephenson
“HALLOWEEN: BEST TO WORST, PART 2”
written by Dominick Cappello
Link to Part 1…
6. “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” (1982)
An attempt to turn “Halloween” into an anthology series with every film being a stand alone with different characters, stories, and no connection to the other films. An interesting idea, but not executed properly. By having the title be “Halloween III”, of course people are going to assume it’s a sequel to the previous films with Michael Myers and be disappointed when they see it’s not. Instead, the film was about a doctor with a drinking problem who investigates a murder at the hospital where he works and becomes suspicious of a novelties company called Silver Shamrock with an overly convoluted plot involving witchcraft to murder all the children in the world with Halloween masks. Some hate this movie simply because there’s no Michael Myers while others love it despite its numerous plot holes. Either way, the Silver Shamrock jingle is damn catchy.
7. “Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers” (1989)
The way “Halloween II” is a companion piece to John Carpenter’s “Halloween”, “Halloween 5” is a companion piece to “Halloween 4”, but it doesn’t follow through on the promise to make Jamie Lloyd the new Michael Myers. She is traumatized by the events of the previous film and shares a psychic link with her homicidal uncle. She can sense that he’s still alive and freaks out whenever he kills someone. The film feels like it was made for TV with lame characters and an awful score. Worst of all, they shoehorned “the man in black” character for no reason and ended on a cliffhanger because the director had no clue what he was doing and wanted to leave it to whoever made the sixth film to figure out who in the hell the man in black was.
8. “Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers” (1995)
Remember how we knew so little about Michael Myers in the first film and that’s what made him scary? Well, “Halloween II” gave us his motive in that he wants to kill his blood relatives, but now this film explains the reason he kills is because he was cursed and the curse won’t be passed on to someone else until he completely wipes out his family. His last target is a grand-nephew, a baby who is found by the grownup version of the kid Laurie Strode was babysitting in the first film and he lives across the street from The Myers House, which is occupied by the relatives of the people who adopted Laurie Strode. We didn’t need a longwinded explanation for why Michael Myers is the way he is. Jamie Lloyd died early in the movie and she wasn’t even played by Danielle Harris. There were reshoots after Donald Pleasance had passed away, so the theatrical cut has an abrupt ending. The producers cut has devoted fan base despite the reveal that Michael Myers is the father of his own grand-nephew. WTF!?
9. “Halloween: Resurrection” (2002)
“Halloween: H20” seemed like it was a finale, but the studio cranked out one more sequel. Jamie Lee Curtis was contractually obligated to appear, but she was killed in the opening sequence. What an unceremonious end to her character. The rest of the film is about a reality show being filmed in The Myers House streaming live on Halloween night. This was a few years after “The Blair Witch Project”, so it seems like they wanted to have some found footage elements. Also, this was during the reality show boom of the early 2000s with shows like “Survivor” and “Big Brother”, so I can understand why someone would make a reality show themed horror movie, but the idea didn’t gel. Michael Myers got his ass kicked by Busta Rhymes. WTF!?
10. “Rob Zombie’s H2” (2009)
We gave Rob Zombie a pass for his 2007 reboot, but the sequel was a hot mess. Michael Myers is given his marching orders by visions of his dead mother’s ghost who is accompanied by a white horse. Okay, both Norman Bates and Jason Voorhees already have their dead mothers bossing them around, so how uninspired is it do the exact same thing with Michael Myers? Oh, and adding a white horse doesn’t help the situation. There’s an alternate ending to this film, but the theatrical cut has Laurie Strode wearing the Michael Myers mask. Nowhere near as memorable as Jamie Lloyd brandishing a pair of bloody scissors at the end of “Halloween 4”. There would have been a third film not directed by Rob Zombie, but in the same continuity, making it a trilogy. The film would have been “Halloween 3D”, but plans were scrapped.