THREE GUYS AND… A TRAILER
series created by Marvin Mercer and Nick Stephenson
“BLAIR WITCH (2016) – Official Trailer”
written by Dominick Cappello
What!? A new Blair Witch movie!? We thought it was something called “The Woods,” but it’s actually Blair Witch 3. Okay, they’re not going to call it Blair Witch 3 because it’s better that we pretend “Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2” (2000) never happened. Is this like “10 Cloverfield Lane” (2016) in that we were fooled into thinking we were getting a sequel to “Cloverfield” (2008), but we really weren’t or this a legitimate sequel? The trailer shows a character who is evidently the younger brother of Heather from the 1999 film. The Black Hills Woods are mentioned as is the town of Burkittsville and even the legend of The Blair Witch, so unless there were major reshoots, this was always meant to be a Blair Witch sequel. We even see the stickmen. The dreaded stickmen. There are plenty of jump scares. Having one character crawling through a mucky tunnel reminded me of “The Descent” (2005). I just hope the trailer didn’t give away the final shot of the film like the trailers for “Quarantine” (2008) moronically did. I always liked the original film and am baffled by the people who say it wasn’t scary. The first sequel was garbage, but this one looks cool.
– Dr. Rochester